The Real Slim Shady cover art

The Real Slim Shady

Eminem English

Intro

May I have your attention, please?May I have your attention, please?Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?I repeatWill the real Slim Shady please stand up?We're gonna have a problem here

Verse 1

Y'all act like you never seen a white person beforeJaws all on the floor like Pam; like Tommy just burst in the doorAnd started whoopin' her ass worse than beforeThey first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh)It's the return of the "Oh, wait, no way, you're kiddingHe didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"And Dr. Dre saidNothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (Ha-ha)Feminist women love Eminem"Chicka-chicka-chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of himLook at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-whatFlippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though"Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head looseBut no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedroomsSometimes I wanna get on TV and just let looseBut can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kissAnd that's the message that we deliver to little kidsAnd expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris isOf course, they're gonna know what intercourse isBy the time they hit fourth grade they've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?We ain't nothin' but mammalsWell, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupesBut if we can hump dead animals and antelopesThen there's no reason that a man and another man can't elopeBut if you feel like I feel, I got the antidoteWomen, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes

Chorus

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?

Verse 2

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)Well, I do, so fuck him, and fuck you tooYou think I give a damn about a Grammy?Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me"But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird?"Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairsSo I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred DurstAnd hear 'em argue over who she gave head to firstLittle bitch put me on blast on MTV"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"I should download her audio on MP3And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh)I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy meSo I have been sent here to destroy youAnd there's a million of us just like meWho cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like meWho dress like me, walk, talk and act like meAnd just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

Chorus

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?

Verse 3

I'm like a head trip to listen to'Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' roomThe only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'allAnd I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at allI just get on the mic and spit itAnd whether you like to admit it (Err), I just shit itBetter than ninety percent of you rappers out canThen you wonder, "How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin', when I'm thirtyI'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirtingPinchin' nurse's asses when I'm jackin' off with JergensAnd I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings (Ch, puh)Or in the parkin' lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck"With his windows down and his system upSo will the real Shady please stand upAnd put one of those fingers on each hand up?And be proud to be out of your mind and out of controlAnd one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?

Outro

Ha-haI guess there's a Slim Shady in all of usFuck it, let's all stand up
What the song means

"The Real Slim Shady" is a sharp, self-mocking satire. Eminem plays a version of his public persona, the provocative "Slim Shady," and challenges the audience, critics, and rivals to identify who the authentic one is. The song opens with a mock announcement, as if a crowd is being asked to produce the real character, and the chorus repeats that demand, so the question becomes the central joke. Each verse then gives him a new target: hypocritical critics who praise him in private but refuse to respect him in public, manufactured pop acts, the awards-show establishment, and the audiences who secretly enjoy the same shocking humor they publicly condemn.

The mood moves from playful to increasingly aggressive and confessional. The early verses are rapid-fire gossip and crude jokes, while the later verses turn inward and imagine a whole world of "Slim Shadys" who copy his attitude without his nerve. By the end, the outro softens the tone with the idea that a bit of this rebellious character lives in everyone, and the song ends as an invitation to join in rather than a simple boast.

Key images include the repeated "will the real Slim Shady please stand up," which parodies a game show and asks who is truly authentic. The references to celebrities and television stand for an industry that profits from scandal while pretending to disapprove. Taken together, the song argues that outrage is often performed, and that the line between the performer and the audience's own secret impulses is thinner than people want to admit.

Key phrases explained
put me on blast
to publicly expose or call someone out — Slang for criticizing someone loudly in front of a large audience, here about a TV appearance.
you-know-what
a coy euphemism for private body parts — The joke is a playful way of avoiding a direct word, which mocks prudishness.
Tom Green
a comedian known for shock stunts — A cultural reference used to show that outrageous behavior is tolerated when it comes from some celebrities.
Valiums
tranquilizer pills — A metaphor suggesting that his albums are so easy to consume that kids take them compulsively.
can't even stomach me
cannot tolerate or endure me — An idiom about critics' disgust, emphasizing how hard it is for them to accept his style.
Song info
Release date
2000-04-18
Album
Confused? You Should Be (Album Sampler)
Written by
Eminem, Dr. Dre, Mel-Man, Tommy Coster, Mike Elizondo
Produced by
Dr. Dre, Mel-Man
Samples
Eminem – My Name Is, Eminem – The Real Slim Shady (Instrumental)
Interpolates
Tom Green – The Bum Bum Song (Lonely Swedish), Eminem – My Name Is

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Eminem

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